I wrote you a song
that’s not meant to be sung.

In earnest, I wait for a note to be played,
but all I hear is the sound of my heart in my chest,
the shallow inhales and exhales of my breath.

Silence and anticipation—
the quest unknown.
Fear and stage fright paralyze my soul…
Frozen, but not icy—
hot to the touch, full of hope, fully alive.

Ready to be hurt, to be let down,
battle armor waiting, a whistle in the wind.
Hope feigns, despair sets in,
self-loathing takes hold.

Alone again, fully exposed—
not enough.
Not enough to be wanted,
not a character to be loved.

An unsung song, tucked away,
lost in time.
Ready to give everything,
but everything is just not enough.

1.20.23

I pushed him away by wanting him close,
Missed the signs, blinded by fear.
I begged him to come, yearning for him near,
But by then, it was too late—the romance was dead.

He left the room without a goodbye,
Didn’t hear the words I said.
I was yelling at a wall, into a void,
Clinging to a ghost, lost and paranoid.

I wrote him a love song,
But it only made him despise me more.
My pleading was useless, completely alone,
It doesn't matter that I called him my home.

He’s no longer mine; I’m not his anymore—
Cut from his team, a partner no more.
He doesn’t care if my day goes well,
Wouldn’t care if it was hell.

Doesn’t give a damn if I cry on the phone,
Might as well do it alone.
He left, gave up, I’m drowning in a pool—
No floaties, no lifeguard, just one stupid fool.

The love is gone, the sliver of light,
Smothered in darkness, no end in sight.
All he had to do was hold on to the spark,
Remember our warmth, our glow,
But he let me go.

No more stars in the sky, no more stars in my eyes.

12.19.23

A little wildflower, alone in the woods,
blooming for no one,
quiet, delicate, gleaming in sunlight—
warming each petal, glistening.

A kaleidoscope of the world,
spinning, rotating, with rainbows.
A little flower in the woods—
will her beauty ever be seen?

Or will she fade away
before someone stumbles across her,
rooted in the ground?

Will she become a tragic memory,
waiting to be found—
picked for all that she has to offer?

Not a knight in shining armor—
just someone who sees her soul,
who sees the little flower
for all the radiant light she has to give.

She will fade, she will droop,
but her beauty will never be lost—
a delicate combination of hope,
stronger than before,
forging paths, blossoming again.

This lovely little wildflower
wants to create a field of flowers,
a meadow—
to be known,
to be lonely no more.

1.26.24

A young girl at heart, but wise for her age,
Fell in love—not young love, nor sweeping romance,
But a steady thump, thump, thump—two hearts aligned.
It happened by chance, under the sun,
One conversation at a time.

First understanding, then acceptance,
Peace and contentment—simple and pure,
But not always perfect.
Flaws and cracks,
Two imperfect people coming together,
Filling the emptiness, calming the storm.

Divine beauty emerges, a noble partnership forged.
Winter oceans and time complicated the simplicity,
Challenging the lovers' connection.
She was determined not to lose him.
He was lost to the sea, apart from her,
But her bond never faltered.

It pulled at her heartstrings, guiding her decisions,
Stirring a determination to close the gap,
To touch the stars, to make it back to her love.
She would swim across oceans, turn back time,
To live a life full of colors, laughter, and vibrant beauty,
With the man she fell in love with—
More importantly, the man she chose.

11.22.23

Break me,
put me back together.
Scars heal and fade,
but never disappear.

Complete windows to the past,
clues of what once was—
happiness, pain, love, fear, hope.

Emotions flood back,
feelings rising like waves.
I had no place,
stories in my head,
distorting facts, twisting reality.

Crumbling—this is my fault.
I’ve been here before,
all by myself.

It’s in your head,
but it all feels so real.
I’m hurting.

Maybe I’m working myself into this frenzy for a reason.
Maybe I have to break myself to heal,
maybe I have to fall apart,
crumble,
to build back stronger.

2.8.21

I wrote you an epic song, just for us to sing,
but I called it all wrong—
there won’t be a ring.

All my loving thoughts and plans in my head
have been sucked up, dried, and left for dead.

I’m delusional and sad,
walking in a dream—empty, alone,
bleak all around, no peace to be seen.

Picking up my armor, prepared to defend and fight.
No knight, no savior—this cannot be right.
A damsel I am not, but distressed beyond repair.

It’s just me on this battlefield, playing the fool.
Drained and tired, embarrassed, and cold,
Life’s a minefield—too much to bear alone,
but it seems to be my destiny:
So I here I am again on my own.

2.16.24

The boy I want, the boy I need, abandoned me.
An occasional “hi,” more often a “bad time.”
Here I am, sitting alone, making a plan.
It was supposed to be with him, but it’s become a solo quest—
A test of my strength, my will, my determination.

I could fight for him forever,
But it feels like I’m fighting with him—
His demons, his doubts.
The same battle, over and over,
Like Sisyphus in the underworld.

Will we ever see the light?
Will I let go too soon,
Thinking we’re safe, only to lose him
Like Orpheus lost Eurydice?
Can my guard ever be down?
Will he ever believe that I am a gem, a treasure to behold?

My hero’s journey starts now, alone.
Or maybe it has always been alone—
And he was just a myth,
A legend,
A story on the adventure to find my way home—
Where I can let my guard down, find peace,
And give all the love in my heart
To my true home, my heart, my love.

4.1.24

The most beautiful boy,
strong and sturdy,
a perfect machine.
Breathtaking, graceful, agile—
a sight to behold.

A physique carved by gods,
molded from stone,
yet a heart, soft and profound,
too deep to be alone.

His presence sings a mesmerizing song,
a dance in purples and golds,
where romance belongs.

I’ll love him forever—
I’ll let myself be swept away,
by the deep blue storm,
just to be with you.

6.5.23

My beautiful boy,
standing tall and proud—
broad shoulders, sleek black sunnies,
beads of sweat rolling down his temples.

He is magnetic.
My eyes gravitate to him,
my body senses him before he enters a room.

I am screwed.
I think my heart may be his,
even if I’m too afraid to admit it to anyone.

He is blissfully unaware
that I call him mine,
that I have willingly placed my heart in his hands—
to be crushed or cherished… I do not know.

Will I see him again?
I need to see that beautiful face,
hear that captivating voice,
feel his hands in mine.

A fleeting moment, a chance, a breath.
Perhaps next time,
the stars will whisper my secret to him.

1.5.23

Draped in pale blue chiffon,
Shimmering silver and golden stars folded within.

A plunging back, exposing ivory skin—
Imperfect perfection, freckles and moles,
Back muscles on display,
Soft and delicate, yet strong and confident.

Hair swept over one shoulder,
Hanging loose, natural,
Lightly paired with a painted face
Smoothing over impurities.

A creature of mythology—
A wild woman, a gypsy, a goddess.
Personified beauty and loveliness,
Wrapped together,
A snapshot in time.

A moment to savor—
Blink, and she’s gone.

3.10.21

Glistening, dark black glass—
Like eyes staring straight through to my very soul,
Questioning my existence,
Piercing through me,
Disappearing me into oblivion.

Everything I thought I was isn’t—
Every story, narrative, anecdote rewritten.
A beginning anew, but not reborn.
No fresh start, tainted by a past I didn’t understand,
Molded into a person I never truly knew.

A new life, like fresh snow—
Ready to be stepped on, interpreted,
Melt, evaporate, repeat—
Like water circulating through an ocean.

My mind in jumbles,
Thoughts contradicting—
Paradoxes of wormholes and feelings,
Everything and nothing at once.

Paralyzed with doubt, fear, and puzzlement,
But inclined to take a step—
Trip, fall, or take another step.

Viewing with new eyes,
A new perspective—
Not perfect, but something.

3.5.21

Clever girl, you think you’re so smart.
You played the system, you played the game.

Some will say it was with looks, with beauty,
with a wicked smile—
but you know the truth.

You did it with persistence.
You did it with practice.
You did it with obstacles, endurance, and grit.

You did it.

You danced, you ran, you skipped—
breathless and lost in thought,
but you never stopped.

And you finished.

Clever girl, clever girl,
brilliant and cool.

No great gains in numbers,
no scholarly fame—
but a heart and soul
refusing to yield.

Giving up nothing, yearning for more—
you did it.

You’re playing the game,
and you’re winning.

2.17.21

Spinning round and round we go—
no one knows where, no one knows when.

Insight and hindsight,
a circle, a line, a web.
Choices, options, doors opening and closing.

We’re ushered through,
no looking back,
always forward—
but sightseeing along the way.

Day in, day out, the same.
Time propels us forward,
yet our actions remain unchanged.

Creatures of habit,
expecting the unexpected—
but when it comes,
we yearn for what was.

The present—boring, unsatisfied, unsatisfying.
Yet yesterday was the same.

Movement, momentum—headed somewhere,
but an outside force pushes us off track.

To take action, to break free from the cycle,
to fear what tomorrow brings—
not because it’s scary,
but because it’s unknown.

2.9.21

Will you remember me, and all of my fears?
Will you still love me when you see my tears?
Will you hold me when I’m breaking into pieces?

What will you do when I’m frustrated and angry,
when I’m no longer smiling, cracking to bits?
Will you stay by my side, or run and hide?

Will me at my best be worth me at my worst?
Will I be enough when it’s just us two?
Will you stay, or will you find a new friend to get you through?

I’m hoping for forever, but this moment will suffice—
minute by day, that would be nice.
Stronger together, with mistakes along the way,
but if we face them as one, we’ll find our way.

It won’t be easy; the sun won’t always shine,
but we will have one another,
and you’ll always be mine.

2.3.21

Sweet little girl, eyes wide,
gazing at this big, beautiful world.

What will you do? Who will you be?
A painter? A poet? Or more?

A free-spirited goddess, charging ahead,
making her way—naïve to some,
but to others, enchanting in her innocence.

Deep inside, she is resilient.
Her strength is in her mind.
Her strength is in her heart.
Her strength is a masterful work of art.

Invisible to most, subtle in style—
endearing to some,
adorable when riled.

This sweet little girl,
this free-spirited goddess,
this brilliant being will find her place.

She will make her way.
She will be what she is.
She will shine with time.

Her power will grow,
but she will never seek to rule.

She is a sensitive soul,
but she is no fool.

1.10.21